Are you hosting a destination wedding? Well,whether you're looking to host your nuptials on a exotic island, in Europe or outside your home state, we've covered all things etiquette for you in our interview below with resident Etiquette Expert and Wedding Planner, Kathleen Cover.
Photo by Allyson Wiley Photography
MHW: When should Save-the-Dates and Invitations be sent for a destination wedding?
KC: In today’s busy world it's best to share your wedding date and location as soon as possible. Create an informative website to share all the pertinent travel details: If US Passports are needed, hotel accommodations available at various price points, and the hosted events guests will be invited to attend. Wedding invitations should be sent 8-12 weeks in advance.
Photo courtesy of To Love and To Cherish by Robert Evans
MHW: In the past it has been said that if you host a destination wedding, everyone should be invited to the rehearsal dinner, is this still true? Also, is it required for a couple hosting a destination wedding to have a next day brunch?
KC: Destination weddings are expensive for your guests to attend. To be a gracious Host and if your budget permits, include your guests in a Welcome Gathering, Rehearsal Dinner and Honeymoon Farewell Brunch. If not, share activities in the area that they can enjoy if you must limit any events to family members only.
Photo courtesy of To Love and To Cherish Inc.
MHW: Should the couple pay for travel and hotel for their officiant?
KC: Yes. However, the level of accommodations may vary. If your officiant is someone from your local temple or church you may wish to include them in the host hotel with your family members. If not, secure a safe and clean alternate hotel nearby. You can expect to provide or reimburse any vendors for all travel, hotel and possibly meal miscellaneous expenses. Be clear on all the financial details with your vendors before you submit a deposit.
Photo courtesy of To Love and To Cherish Inc.
MHW: What other etiquette tips do you have for couples hosting destination weddings?
KC: One of my favorite wedding planning tips is when you focus on the comfort and enjoyment of your guests - when this is your focus, you have a wedding your family and friends will remember for years to come. Be gracious and appreciative that your guests are taking the time out of their busy lives and incurring a major expense to join you and your family members.
Photo courtesy of To Love and To Cherish by Robert Evans
MHW: Should guests who attend a destination wedding still give the couple a gift?
KC: Yes. Even with Destination Weddings the tradition remains, everyone that receives a wedding invitation (from someone they know) should send a gift. However, you can be a gracious couple and let your guests know that ‘their presence is your present’.
Photo courtesy of To Love and To Cherish Inc.
MHW: If the couple prefers that there are no children at their wedding, what is the best way to address this?
KC: This can be a very sensitive topic. If you would like guests with young children to make the trip (not to mention taking off from work, incurring travel and hotel expenses) be very clear about what (if any) events children are welcome to. Start off by sending children a child-friendly and fun welcome amenity like a beach pail filled with goodies. You can also research activities for the kids throughout their stay, surf camp or hiring a clown are always a big hit (Pelican Hill Resort offers FUN and EDUCATIONAL Children’s Etiquette classes). Lastly, recommend reputable babysitting companies, you can speak to your hotel concierge or wedding planner for suggestions. Your friends will appreciate you welcoming their children so warmly- and the kids will have a blast!
Kathleen Cover is the Founder and President of The Etiquette School of Beverly Hills and Newport Beach. She obtained her Business and Children's etiquette training and consulting certificate from the prestigious American School of Protocol. Throughout her 27 years in the luxury hotel catering and wedding industry she has coached social, wedding and business etiquette to countless individuals, groups and businesses. For more information please contact Kathleen directly at To Love and To Cherish Inc. or The Etiquette School of Beverly Hills and Newport Beach.